Why Preparation Matters in EMDR Therapy

TL;DR: EMDR does not start with trauma reprocessing. Preparation is part of EMDR therapy and can include understanding your Window of Tolerance, noticing how your body responds to stress, identifying resources and coping strategies that actually work for you, and practicing ways to stay connected to the present.

The goal is not to be perfectly calm or prove that you are “ready” for EMDR. It is to better understand what happens when difficult material comes up and have different ways to work with it.

When people first learn about EMDR, they often hear about the part where you think about a difficult memory while using eye movements, tapping, or another form of bilateral stimulation.

That is part of EMDR, but it is not where EMDR starts.

Before we begin reprocessing traumatic or distressing experiences, there is preparation. And preparation is not just a checklist of coping skills you have to prove you can use before you are “ready” to do trauma work.

I think of preparation as getting curious about your nervous system. What happens when you start to feel overwhelmed? What happens when you shut down? What helps you stay connected to the present? What helps when your brain is moving a hundred miles an hour? What actually works for you, rather than what someone told you is supposed to work?

That can look very different from person to person.

Understanding Your Window of Tolerance

One framework I often use with clients is psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel’s Window of Tolerance. It gives us language for understanding different levels of activation and what can happen when we move outside a range where we are able to stay present and engaged.

When you are within your Window of Tolerance, you have more access to the present moment. You can think, feel, notice what is happening in your body, and stay connected to the fact that you are here now even while talking about something difficult.

When you move above that window, you might experience more activation. Your heart may race, your thoughts might speed up, or you may feel anxious, angry, restless, overwhelmed, or like you need to get away.

When you move below the window, things may slow down or disconnect. You might feel numb, foggy, exhausted, frozen, far away, or have difficulty staying connected to what is happening.

These are examples, not a checklist. Your experience may look completely different. None of these responses mean you are doing therapy wrong. They give us information.

Part of EMDR preparation can be learning to recognize your own patterns. What does activation look like for you? What does shutting down look like? What are the earlier signs that something is changing?

The goal is not to stay perfectly inside your Window of Tolerance all the time. The goal is to build more awareness and flexibility around what happens when your nervous system responds.

Building Resources That Actually Work for You

Preparation also gives us time to identify resources you can use when difficult material comes up.

A Calm/Safe State is one resource commonly used during EMDR preparation. The goal is to help you notice and strengthen access to a state associated with calm, safety, comfort, or another experience that feels supportive. An imagined place might be one way someone connects with that state, but it does not have to be a place at all.

Depending on the person, preparation may also include grounding, imagery, movement, sensory strategies, coping skills, connection with supportive people, or other resources.

I tend to think about coping skills in different categories, including calming, processing, distraction, physical, and support system. I find this helpful because the same strategy is not going to be useful for every person, every nervous-system state, or every situation.

If you are highly activated, what you need may be different from what helps when you are shut down or disconnected. And when you are within your optimal zone, you may have more capacity for reflection and processing.

We do not need to build an enormous toolbox or find the “right” coping skills. Preparation is about having enough options and awareness to begin recognizing what helps you, when it helps, and what you might need when something shifts.

Preparation Can Be Body-First

You do not always have to think your way into feeling different.

Sometimes your body gives us information before your thoughts do. You may notice your shoulders rising, your hands tightening, your breathing changing, your stomach dropping, your legs wanting to move, or your body becoming very still.

Those signals can help us recognize what is happening earlier. They can also give us another place to start. We might use movement, pressure, temperature, rhythm, breathing, sensory input, or simply notice what your body is communicating.

For some people, particularly people who have spent a lot of time analyzing and understanding their experiences, this can be an important shift. You may already know why you respond the way you do.

Knowing why and having a different experience in your body are not always the same thing.

Preparation Does Not Mean You Have to Be Perfectly Calm

One of the goals of EMDR is to work with distressing material. So if the requirement for beginning EMDR were that you never become distressed, we would have created a rather impressive clinical contradiction.

Preparation is not about making sure nothing difficult happens. It is about building enough awareness and support that we can work with what happens.

Can you notice when something is becoming too much? Can we communicate about it? Can we slow down, change what we are doing, orient back to the present, or use something that helps you reconnect? Can we recognize when continuing makes sense and when stopping makes more sense?

That is very different from expecting you to regulate perfectly.

Preparation May Take Different Amounts of Time

Some people move into reprocessing relatively quickly. Other people spend more time in preparation. Some people begin reprocessing and then return to preparation when they discover that something else would be useful.

EMDR is not a straight line through eight phases where we check off each box and never look backward. The phases give us structure, but therapy still responds to the person sitting in the room.

Preparation can also change as therapy continues. You may discover new resources, become better at recognizing what is happening earlier, or realize that something you expected to help does not actually work for you.

That is all useful information.

Preparation Is Part of EMDR, Not Something You Do Before the “Real Work”

I think this distinction matters.

Learning your patterns, developing resources, noticing your Window of Tolerance, understanding what happens in your body, and figuring out what helps you stay connected are not obstacles standing between you and trauma processing.

They are part of trauma therapy.

Sometimes preparation makes it possible to move into reprocessing. Sometimes we continue developing resources while reprocessing. Sometimes we return to preparation because something new has emerged. And sometimes preparation itself creates meaningful changes in how you understand and respond to what is happening.

The goal is not to collect enough coping skills to earn permission to do EMDR. It is to understand yourself well enough that when difficult material shows up, we have more than one way to work with it.

A Little More About EMDR

EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, was developed by psychologist Francine Shapiro, PhD, and uses an eight-phase treatment model. Preparation is Phase 2 of that model, although the amount of time spent in preparation and the resources used can vary depending on the person and their needs.

The phases provide structure, but EMDR therapy is individualized. Preparation, assessment, reprocessing, closure, and reevaluation can inform one another throughout treatment rather than functioning as a rigid checklist.

References & Further Reading

Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.

Siegel, D. J. (1999). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. Guilford Press.

EMDR International Association (EMDRIA). Resources on EMDR therapy, the eight phases of EMDR, and Phase 2 preparation.